Delusional and Inadequate, Part 1
Ever met an individual whose self-image was a woeful reflection of objective reality?
Look around.
Over there stands a Wax Museum specimen of Roseanne Barr, Ms. Piggy, a girl with what appears to be third degree burns on her face, replete with a body that is repulsive to convicts just released from jail. She has a personality so selfish and egotistical, that Piggy literally quakes with anger whenever conversation is focused on anyone except herself, her rolls and rolls of fat jiggling furiously.
As she hears another joke on "Will and Grace", she starts snorting, chortling, and choking up with laughter, her face turning beet red, and her already enormous girth heaving still further forward.
Our heroine spends hours on beauty products, her hair, and fashionable, expensive clothes and accessories charged to Daddy’s credit card.
She can’t figure it out.
Why don’t guys like her? Doesn’t she possess an amazing personality, fabulous looks, and a unique, trailblazing style?
Wake up, you fat fucking moron! You’re disgusting, crude, and have no job prospects above a clerkship at Costco! Go fuck yourself with the new XXXXL dildo, it’s the only sex you’ll ever have in your life.
Next to her stands Mr. Pimp Playa’. He’s white of course, but apparently his father is Jay-Z and his mother 50 Cent. The baggy, sagging pants reveal boxers. The spiked, dyed blonde hair, the sideways visor, and the Walkman featuring mainstream rap hits he’s always bragging about listening to are all present too. He wants to show everyone his "six-pack".
He’s real tough, alright. Mr. Playa’ stands 4’ 11", 100 pounds, has no fighting background, and has never been in a serious street fight in his entire life.
Still, for all his street savvy, he can’t quite figure out why girls laugh at him all the time, especially when he tells them his innermost affections. Whatever Foo! Those fine bitches r’ prolly’ just diggin’ his handsome image so much!
However, we have to give Mr. Pimp credit.
He’s started his professional career at a very early age.
He’s been working at Taco Bell since the beginning of high school.
May I please present to you your future wife, Ms. Piggy?
Look around.
Over there stands a Wax Museum specimen of Roseanne Barr, Ms. Piggy, a girl with what appears to be third degree burns on her face, replete with a body that is repulsive to convicts just released from jail. She has a personality so selfish and egotistical, that Piggy literally quakes with anger whenever conversation is focused on anyone except herself, her rolls and rolls of fat jiggling furiously.
As she hears another joke on "Will and Grace", she starts snorting, chortling, and choking up with laughter, her face turning beet red, and her already enormous girth heaving still further forward.
Our heroine spends hours on beauty products, her hair, and fashionable, expensive clothes and accessories charged to Daddy’s credit card.
She can’t figure it out.
Why don’t guys like her? Doesn’t she possess an amazing personality, fabulous looks, and a unique, trailblazing style?
Wake up, you fat fucking moron! You’re disgusting, crude, and have no job prospects above a clerkship at Costco! Go fuck yourself with the new XXXXL dildo, it’s the only sex you’ll ever have in your life.
Next to her stands Mr. Pimp Playa’. He’s white of course, but apparently his father is Jay-Z and his mother 50 Cent. The baggy, sagging pants reveal boxers. The spiked, dyed blonde hair, the sideways visor, and the Walkman featuring mainstream rap hits he’s always bragging about listening to are all present too. He wants to show everyone his "six-pack".
He’s real tough, alright. Mr. Playa’ stands 4’ 11", 100 pounds, has no fighting background, and has never been in a serious street fight in his entire life.
Still, for all his street savvy, he can’t quite figure out why girls laugh at him all the time, especially when he tells them his innermost affections. Whatever Foo! Those fine bitches r’ prolly’ just diggin’ his handsome image so much!
However, we have to give Mr. Pimp credit.
He’s started his professional career at a very early age.
He’s been working at Taco Bell since the beginning of high school.
May I please present to you your future wife, Ms. Piggy?
posted by KIMaster at
4:38 PM
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