The Man Who Wanted to Know Everything

I walked in silence under the billowing trees, feeling the cool winter air against my face. I was making my weekly sojourn to the middle school to teach an after-school club, and wondering what the hell to teach once there, having no clue then. I felt the soft grass beneath my shoes, not a soul within fifty feet of me, and knew this was the most relaxation afforded to me for the next two hours. My intention was to arrive a little early and conjure up a random lesson.

I walked up to the middle school building and opened the door.

The relaxed silence of the interior was invigorating, evoking a deep sense of peace. I sat down on one of the couches, and started pensively munching on an apple. One could almost fall asleep here……

"Excuse ME! MAY I help you??!!" a strange, loud, square-shaped head addressed me, having
just recently popped out of one of the middle school classrooms.

At first glance, it looked like a clown on vacation from work.

Waking up slightly, I realized it was actually a teacher.

"No."

At this, the man became confused, clearly expecting a "yes.". His stupid grin disappeared, and he looked perplexed. Clown school had not taught him how to handle these types of situations. He went back inside the classroom.

Ah yes, I can finally continue enjoying myself…

Ten seconds later, he comes back out, having finally arrived at the next idiotic question;

"Are you looking for a student or a locker?"

Let’s see dumbass; I’m sitting on a couch, trying to fall asleep, and have already answered no once.

"No." Maybe he is hard of hearing.

The man is further perplexed, and decides it is time to unload the heavy artillery.

"What are you here for??"

"I teach a club here."

The man suddenly springs back half a step, his eyes widen, and he makes eye contact with me.
Had I said, "I molest little children", he would have been less surprised.

"….Uh…..Hmmm…… You know, the club only starts in about four minutes or so. You can wait here in the meanwhile." giving me a knowing, generous glance.

Thank you Detective Dipshit, for stating what I already know and suggesting an activity I am presently engaged in.

Meanwhile, he has started shaking his head up and down in a maniac nod, one of Binky the
Clown’s hallmarks.

I nod my head slowly back at him. Knowingly.

It’s best to humor the mentally unstable.